Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Choice Chambers

So as I sat, depressingly alone while my housemates partied the night away, watching Dimbleby ramble on desperately trying to fill the six hour election night he had ahead of him, my mate Dre came in and began to change the channel.

I objected, horrified, but my worry was misplaced.

It was at this point I was introduced to CNN, and I would like to take a minute to list several reasons why CNN's coverage kicked the BBC's election night mumbling session's sorry arse.

1: The Drums

The first thing to strike me was the epic drums used to introduce every single thing that the CNN politics crew (The Worlds Greatest Political News Team as a sign in the background informed me) had to throw at me. It went on for ages. It was like the intro to Brass Eye.

2: The Presenters

They were called Wolf Blitzer and Anderton Cooper.

Wolf Blitzer..................David Dimbleby

Wolf Blitzer..................David Dimbleby

Wolf Blitzer..................David Dimbleby

Need I say more.

3: The Claims

The Worlds Greatest Political News Team was not the only claim adorning the back wall of the studio. As if that wasn't reassuring enough, my eyes were treated to huge, metallic lettering reading:

CNN = Politics


but nothing compared to...


That's right. CNN provided me with an exclusive interview with Will.I.Am of Black Eyed Peas fame...........via Hologram

Seriously. You Guys.

The presenter actually interviewed empty space and they overlayed a floating image of Will.I.Am of Black Eyed Peas fame.

They even made him a bit fuzzy and slowed down the frame-rate to make it look like the technology wasn't quite perfect. Y'know...for realism

That, my friends, is television.
The BBC need to buck up their ideas.


You Guys.



Anonymous said...

My favourite was histerically laughing at how David Dimbleby refered to Obama's daughters as "girl children". That seemed funny for some reason.

That and the hilarious interview of Gore Vidal.

- Mike

Smokey Bastard said...


Anonymous said...

It was the beeb's coverage that made me unexpectedly stay up for the whole thing!

Dimbleby's incoherance and incredulity at the American system and Americans in general, coupled with teams of technician chimps and flagrantly biased and ignorant interviewers gave the whole thing a gloss of crapness and bewilderment which was entirely appropriate.

If anyone who didn't see it is reading this, imagine that Terry Wogan's coverage of Eurovision was completely unironic and you'll begin get the idea.


Smokey Bastard said...

It was amazingly poor. I loved the guy trying to work the touch screen. And the "tickertape in the studio".

Worst effects ever.

Wolf Blitzer.